Dum- di- dum-
di- dum…
Oh!
Hello… hello human. I am Goliat, I am very pleased to
meet you. Will you scratch my tummy? Or walk me? Or do you have a treat? I like
treats…
In any case. My ferrant/food-slave has asked me to
tell you my story. He thought it would make you smile. I always make my mum and
dad smile. They love me. They say you will too. Me and Bouncer, mum and dad
call us “Bøflerne” (The Buffalos), because we are big, gentle and calm.
I was born in 2013 at a fur-farm here in Denmark. I
was supposed to be killed for my fur to line a jacket or hat or to be the
subject of experimentation for makeup products or such. I did not know that of
course, I just knew I was growing very large- large animals have more fur you
see- in a very small wire cage with my kin and kindred, that I was fed some
horrible fish-gruel as food and that the humans were not very kind. Of course,
I did not know what kindness was back then- I thought all two-legs were nasty.
I and my friends really wanted to play and jump and
run and wardance, but there was no room for play in the cage, just eating and
growing.
When I was nearing adulthood, I was allowed to have
fun with a jill and she gave birth to a litter of fine kits, though of course,
I was not allowed near them. I was put in with the jill, had my fun and was
taken away again.
Now this all continued for a year or so, then one day
as our cages were out in the sun on a very hot summer day with no shade and no
water, two strange twolegs arrived. They were built differently than those I
was familiar with; they had broader hips, smaller bellies and two sort of lumps
in front on their chest, and long hair. I later learned they are human jills.
They smelled strange as well, of something I was later to learn were soap and
perfumes, but also of other strange ferrets whose smell I did not recognize from
the farm. They made lots of strange noises at us and at the twolegs who cared
for us, they sounded upset and sad. And then they gave the twolegs on the farm
something and put me, Bouncer, my litter of kits with their mother and lots of
other ferrets into strange closed boxes. There was then movement and a strange
noise for a while, before I and Bouncer and the litter were taken into one of
these building-things that twolegs use as a cage or den. I believe you call it
a house.
In there the female twoleg opened the cage, and I
ventured out. It felt very strange under my paws, firm, unbroken surfaces
instead of wire mesh. I found it difficult to get used to and walk- and my
muscles were not as strong as they would later become, for I had not had much exercise
in the cage. I was rather scared by this big world, and Bouncer would not
emerge at first- then got a depression. I decided that I would never be put in
a cage again, and to bite her when she tried to touch me!
So I did, and I can bite hard, for I am a large boy,
and I tried to bite her a lot over the next weeks. But she always had some
really tasty paste to feed me when handling me so I forgot to bite. And she
would not stop touching me and lifting me and cuddling me and scratching places
I cannot myself reach. Really annoying, but also nice. And all in ways so I
could not bite. So eventually I stopped. Cause it was actually quite nice to be
scratched and fed vitamin paste.
There were also many other ferrets of various sizes
and ages and genders, and I got new friends, while Bouncer started to get rid
of his depression and live up to his name by bouncing and wardancing and playing.
In fact I started to feel really good about life. I had room and there were
friends to play with, oh… and really- REALLY nice food, yummy. I LIKE food, I am almost always hungry. Daddy says I eat as much as his three together...
Here I am with my friend Venus, old and frail and actually a bit of a b*tch, but she liked me, perhaps because I was big and warm and gentle.
Bouncer and I with our friends
Bouncer and I playing
There was also some sort of male twoleg there, but he
did not love us the same way the female did. He handled us and were nice
enough, but we could feel how much she loved us and one day he was gone and
another turned up. This latter one immediately fell in love with us, and picked
us up and cuddled us and played with us and called us “Bøfler”. He says it is because
we are big, gentle, clumsy and docile, and he loves us very much. Him and mummy
took us for walks with his tiny ferrets and I get to smell the forest and grass
and bushes and trees and earth and feel the wind and to dig and run and sniff.
It is so great and I am such a happy ferret.
Here I am at a walk
And another, I like grass
And in the forest
And in the forest
Bouncer has moved away to live
with Heidi and Jakob, and their Fenris as they lost their Fafner and had to
give mum Bamsebjørn, and Fenris felt lonely.
Bouncer and I sleeping
Bouncer in the forest with mum
One day they took me to the vet, a very nice lady
called Dorthe, who was very impressed by my size and personality and loved me a
lot. She pricked me with something strange and I fell asleep. When I woke again
I was a bit sore in the private parts and mum said I was a something called a
V-Hob. I dunno what that is, but I am happy with life. If anything I like more
time with mum and dad, and some friends, but then- I have this urge to mate
with all my friends at the moment, so mum and dad say I have to live alone for
a while yet till it goes away. My life is fine, I am always happy, I love my
mum and dad, and I am very grateful to be alive- not killed for my fur. And I always make them smile and laugh by just being my big, loving self.
Visiting daddy
And lastly daddy has something to say to you;
